2012.07.13 Understanding Divorce Created by James on 9/28/2013 7:18:04 AM There is considerable incorrect teaching with regard to Divorce.
This article recounts my journey in learning about divorce first hand and outlines the fundamental basis for divorce -- covenant breaking.
2012.07.13
Understanding Divorce
by
James Robertson
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Communications in response to my recent divorce emphasize the fact that there is a lot of misunderstanding regarding the subject.
Early in 1995 I attended a church meeting where the preacher spoke about the sixty plus percent divorce rate in the Christian Church. Being in a very difficult marriage and having committed myself wholeheartedly to making it work I was under the impression that the passage in Malachi that said that “Yah hates divorce” and the passages quoting Yahooshua as opposing divorce meant that there was no way that divorce was permissible except under very narrow conditions, specifically sexual adultery in a monogamous marriage.
I was grieved by this statistic and immediately said to Yah “Father, why is there so much divorce?”.
That evening as I turned in my daily bible reading to the next passages I was scheduled to read I came to the verse which says in Exodus that if a man takes a second woman he should not diminish the food, clothing or marital privileges of the first woman and that if he did he should let the first woman go free. I then read the passage that says that a Bishop should be husband of one woman and immediately realized that if it was necessary to specify a restriction then inherently other men were free to marry more than one woman – some years later I came to understand that this was a translation error and that the verse actually said something different – that such a man should still be married to his first woman, not that he could only join himself to one woman.
I was shocked, I firmly believed Yah required a man to be joined to only one woman, I prayed, I consulted references, I spoke to pastors, I got kicked out of churches but time and again I heard Yah confirm that He had created man and woman such that more than one woman might covenant with one man and that the hymen, the seal of virginity, was evidence that Yah had intended this from the very start. I came to understand that the doctrine of monogamy was false and had been enforced on the Christian Church by the Emperor Justinian in about 600 AD and that the doctrine of monogamy was the single biggest reason there was so much divorce.
Later in that same year, 1995, with a marriage that was really not working but still convinced that Yah hated divorce and that I had to make my marriage work I found myself in London where I visited a Christian bookshop. That night while praying I had a vision of a display gondola in that bookshop with a book in the center of the bottom shelf of the gondola. The next morning I returned to the bookshop to find that the ONLY book on the bottom shelf of that specific gondola was a book titled “When the Vow Breaks: A Survival and Recovery Guide for Christians Facing Divorce”, available from Amazon at:
http://www.amazon.com/When-Vow-Breaks-Survival-Christians/dp/0805446532/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1343484695&sr=1-1&keywords=when+the+vow+breaks
Back in my hotel room that night I opened the book at random at a passage in which the author quoted the letter he had written to his wife when he decided to divorce her – I was shocked to discover that I could have written that same letter – the strife, the treachery, the betrayal were the same. Then Yah said to me “I want you to divorce” – I was stunned.
I mulled over this, argued with myself, asked Yah again and again and finally phoned my wife from London and told her I was going to divorce her. When I got home she asked for another chance and committed to go for counselling, a promise which she subsequently broke. Six months later I could not take the strife and manipulation and control any longer and I cried out to Yah to take me out of the marriage. He proceeded to reveal to me the extent to which the woman I had once loved had betrayed me in every possible sphere of life including things which had caused me huge loss and suffering. I went ahead with the divorce and have never for a day regretted my decision. I did not fully understand the basis of the divorce then but I knew with absolute certainty that Yah had permitted it.
Years later I came to understand that in the current age western Christian woman are so steeped in the doctrines of monogamy that it is impossible to make a union with several woman joined to one man work. Fact is that today monogamy is the only form of union that has any possibility of working and consequently both parties must exercise particular care and seek prayerful guidance before entering into a union for it to have any hope of succeeding.
Following my divorce Yah brought me a wonderful woman as my wife but, as a consequence of a fundamental misunderstanding at the time we entered into covenant, the marriage eventually failed and I was again divorced.
Over the years I have come to understand the extent to which divorce is so prevalent in this age and the diversity of factors that give rise to divorce.
Ultimately it all comes down to covenant breaking or treachery, failing to keep one’s word or the other party failing to keep their word, it has numerous facets.
You may quote the passages that cite Yahooshua speaking against divorce except for sexual immorality, this is a translation error, the fundamental underlying language is exactly the same as in Deuteronomy 24 – “treachery” or betrayal, which includes but is not limited to sexual immorality. It includes a man failing to comply with the fundamental terms of man woman covenant that apply to him and a woman failing to comply with the terms that apply to her.
He is commanded to cover her, to teach her, to cherish her, she is commanded to submit to him, help him, cover his back, engage in commerce and business alongside him. If either fundamentally break these terms it constitutes a basis for divorce with the consequence that a very large proportion of people today have a basis for divorce and get divorced. That said, many get divorced for INVALID reasons and therefore joining oneself to one who is not legally divorced in the Court of Heaven carries severe risks and severe penalties. Divorce in the world is necessary but is NOT sufficient, if the Court of Heaven does not grant divorce you are NOT divorced.
Conclusion
The fundamental basis for divorce is covenant breaking, this is prevalent. In order for a union to work there must be a clear understanding between the man and the woman as to what they are committing to and a robust effort by both to make it work.
May Yah bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you and give you peace.
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